Memories

On July 2, 2011, one of my oldest and best friends back from elementary school, Scott Behrman, passed away.

Hey Scott - Chief - we've only got memories left.

I found out about his death on my way back from a getaway in the mountains and I didn't know what to make of it. Shock and disbelief were the first things that came to mind, of course, but I chose to keep all my reactions inside. They're really starting to pour out now.

A lot of my personality came from him, for sure. Scott was an incredibly funny and caring person and the years of elementary school we spent together will be unforgettable, especially our last year. Whenever I thought about that last year, I always though of the good times with Scott. He was my best friend. During my time with him, Scott was one of the first people I could say that I actually trusted. He was a dynamo, but he was someone who would never let a peep out about you if you didn't want anyone to find out.

I'm thankful that you trusted me enough to share some of the funniest secrets you have. I remember telling you one time about that "dream" that someone had about you, and I almost cried from laughter because you looked so disgusted! Of course, in classic Scott Behrman fashion, you decide to confront that person about the dream. Then what followed was a crazy day indeed. But maybe not as crazy as the one time we went swimming. You were the first person to get me to go on that slide!

Undoubtedly, his sense of humour rubbed off on me. Every class had its comedic moments, and Scott made sure to point them out. We always sat together until our teachers would split us up because we were making too much of a ruckus! I grew to like his type of humor in life, and I can see why he loved it. The smiles that one can create are the best rewards anyone can get. I learned to take my humorous side and share it with as many people as possible, thanks to him. I'd be a different person if it wasn't for this change. I wouldn't have found so much happiness without sharing the spoils of life with him. Scott showed me the brighter side of life - and it is a side that I've come to embrace even today. I feel that I have a positive outlook towards life, and Scott helped to shape that.

You even lit up the most awkward moments! I had tried to wrestle a pencil away from you, but Mrs. Christie saw us and she told us to hold hands like a couple during recess only (a pretty bad moment for little kids like us). But you just ended up saying, "What's so wrong about holding hands?"

The last time I saw him was at church (when he still had his Bieber hair). I remember what we talked about. We talked about our confirmation many years ago and how he went to the ceremony with a blue tongue from a piece of candy.

Chief, you wanted me to have some candy too, and I did! Then we took a million photos with other people, our blue tongues sticking out! I know I have them somewhere, I've got to look for them...

Then we got to talking about the future, and what we wanted to do next. I remember him telling me to pick something I'd love and enjoy, and just have fun.

Scotty, tons of people have told me that, but when I look back at that conversation, I'm thankful that you said it too. I learned from the best. I'd kill to have one more conversation with you - to see how much you've grown and to show you what a difference you made.

It was a pretty mature conversation for both of us. We were even dressed up and were sitting in a fairly empty hall, just talking. I didn't know that was the last time I'd see him. I'm glad that it is such a happy and fun memory.

That long conversation itself really characterized who he was. Scott knew how to have fun but when it got down to it, he'd be able to show how mature and smart he really was. He had a sense of humor that rubbed off on me that kept a smile plastered on everyone's faces, including his. The only time his smile would go away was when he would be working - his work ethic was uncharacteristically great.

I still remember how hard you'd work. You asked me questions, and I'd answer them. You had a knack of really catching on and working at it. You'd tap that pencil constantly, but it never bugged me, that's for sure. That was your beat, and you lived by it.

But most importantly, Scott was a loving and kind person. He genuinely cared for the people he was with, even when he was at an age where you were focused on video games and first dates. He knew how to make you smile, and he knew how to warm your heart. I know, for sure, that as he got older, that love and attention he gave the people around him grew stronger as well.

He was fun, exciting, charismatic, and just loved life - and the people in his life. That is how I'll remember Scott. I'm so fortunate to have known him.

Undoubtedly, he'll live on in the smiles that he put on people's faces. He'll live on in the laughs that we experience. He'll live on because people were touched by his light. People will live for Scott Behrman, and I choose to be one of those people.

I'll miss you, chief.

Paint Fumes Make You Sick

So yours truly shall be creating his first mural this week!

I've been planning for this for quite some time now (sorta kinda), and now it's actually time to put it together! I admit, I've had countless ideas for this mural, but I think I'm finally coming down to a decision.

I've been tasked by my drama teacher to paint a new mural to go over an old one we have up by the room.

Editor's Note:
The old mural was created by students who were at the "top" of their "game." To be honest with you, what game was this? Go Fish? It's a rather -ahem- unpleasant mural to look at right now. Practically, it is a hodge-podge of random images than are not remotely related to theatre. It looks like a paintball arena.

Anyways, as you can tell, I'm fairly picky about good art. If I don't like it, then I don't like it. If I like it, then I like it. So, with my piece, I've got to make sure that it is something that I will like as well!

Many ideas ran through my head for a while; mainly because it was empty, or maybe because I just didn't know which direction to go with for this one.

My first idea involved cutting up pieces of plywood and making some kind of super-polygon on the wall. This super-polygon would rule all other polygons (especially those squares. What a bunch of crazies) and it would be full of every colour imaginable! If your name was Joseph, you could wear it as your coat!

 

Then I had an idea of making a vector-style mural - a method that uses solid colours. It would be the easiest one to make, considering that I'll be grabbing some of my friends to help me out. The current mural is done like that, and its pretty hard to get a good-looking one without it looking like a number colouring book.

I might use elements of it, but I gotta make sure its not too much!

On second thought, I think I should just make a mural of Barney.

----------------------------------------

UPDATE!!!

Oh noes! I have been ill *cough cough*

I had this specific week to work on the mural, but I descended into a debilitating fever that completely reduced my hit points to non-existent values. Because of that, I've had no time to make a final game plan or gather the copious amounts of paint and supplies that I need!

Very.

Instead of spending some time to design the best mural I could imagine, I spent my days wrapping myself up in blankets, sleeping, waking up to extreme heat, removing the said blankets and sleeping once again. I must admit, though, my body had more temperature fluctuations than Calgary itself.

So basically, I'll have to put this mural on hold for a while (most likely until December!) For now, that hallway shall suffer the torment of that sub-par mural currently taking its place on a wall by the drama room.

Shed your tears, people, shed your tears.

Places

So this year full of the ups and downs of high school has come to an end...

It's a very bitter-sweet experience for me (a little more bitter for reasons that I can blabber about afterwards). I mean, it's the end of high school (yay) and I should be as happy as a kid in a candy store (and I am) but the end has a lot of implications that go along with it.

One:
I can't make things up anymore.
Yeah, I totally can't! I am now without my precious Improv Team and that countless hours of pure, unadulterated hilarity that would ensue from the most innocent things. Admittedly, I was a part of that steady flow of immaturity in our school. Sometimes I felt like I was back in elementary school - not that there was anything wrong with that!

If you never did this, you are losing out (or you're dumb)

Despite the craziness and the lack of numbers/participants, the team had a very successful year! I think I only realized that a smaller team was perfect later on, because we practically performed like a real team when that was the case! I still (and always will) remember the Bucket Game, the ridiculous rhymes of Kick It, the laugh-fest that were our shows and, of course, our "Christmas Carol" re-enactment! I've never been happier leading a team of crazy carnies who will probably end up in a mental asylum (myself included).

But the best part of Improv was bringing smiles to people's faces. Undoubtedly, our work could brighten up anyone's day, including my improv teammates as well. That, in itself, is such a rewarding experience! Happiness was practically contagious during those days, like the opposite of a cold or E.coli or something.

Laughter is the best medicine, after all!

Improv was a blast. I am incredibly happy to have been a part of it for all three of my high school years, and leading an awesome troupe in the last of them!

Anyways, here's the next result caused by the end of my high school life:
Too much free time!
Yup, I know! Free time is good, but too much of it can seem to be too boring. I mean, all year, I've been busy after school with projects, shows, rehearsals and everything else in between, and a lot of it was pure fun! But now, with summer rolling in, I'll be burned to a crisp by the intense, dry heat. I will continuously chug down oceans of iced tea. My electric fan will be stuck on max power every day and every night. I will have too much time! I will be utterly confuse as how I can engage myself in the hours of weather-torture that comes with summer. What shall I do...

Uguu~

I don't know what I'll do just yet. I might work. I might paint. I might write journal entries. I might look for Gadhafi. Whatever it is, I'll make sure to document it here (it's about time that I get this blog back on its feet!) One thing I will do, though, is spend as much time as I can with my friends this summer before we all head out to our separate ways. We've got to make more memories, because those will last a life time. But we've got to do it fast! Summer will be done before you know it and it'll all be gone like a stick of butter on a hot August day.

Speaking of which, the end of high school brings this as well:

The possibilities of the future.
Yup, I went there. Cheesy stuff, eh? I'm like freakin' fondue:

Anyways, that statement is true. There are so many things ahead of me, I just don't know where to begin! Admittedly, I was like that a few months ago, but 1000x worse! It was a shame: I had more meltdowns than a nuclear power plant (too soon?) Back then, I was a mess. That explains the lack of blog posts, so sorry about that!

Gladly, I got my shit together and I turned around and headed in a better direction, thanks to everyone around me. My tens, elevens and twelves helped me learn to embrace people again.

My tens showed me what it is like to have a greatly positive outlook towards everything and everyone. I learned from them the simplest and most basic lesson of life: think positively.

My elevens showed me growth and all the inspiration that I had back when I was in that place. They made me remember back when new experiences sparked a passion inside of you, and so I chose to pursue that passion.

And my twelves showed me unity and support. We were a unit, and none of us could have gotten that far without one another. That's why it's so hard to leave it all behind, but we've all got to move forward now!

One thing they all have in common is that they are all my friends - they all made a difference in my life.

I know that, despite a great outlook, there will be some moments of darkness in the future. Those moments may seem overwhelming, so you do whatever you can to cope with it. You might cry or you might bottle it all up inside. You might lie in your bed endlessly, or you might eat a bucket of Haagen Dazs endlessly. You might call a friend, or you might simply sit alone.

Whatever you do, I hope you can get out of it like I did. It took a lot to drag me out of the depths of whatever I was in...

...and sometimes, a little bit of light is enough to lift you up and take you to all of the places you are meant to be.

The Natural Order of Things

So the next (and final) semester of school begins in just under a week! I'll give you a recap of what I did during my break!

I finally finished my exams for this semester! My first exam was Religion:

The Religion exam was rather simple and straight-forward (expected, considering the Church is all for "straight"). Unfortunately, "God" was not a choice on most of the multiple choice part of the exam. If it was there, I'm sure that would have been the answer to everything. Allow me to explain:

Who made the world?

Who is at the center of the Church?

Whose skin is used as paper for the Bible?

Who shot JR?

You get the point. Anyways, my next exam was Chemistry:

The most important element.

Chemistry was okay. I must admit, however, that I am a bit of a chemist and as such, I was able to concoct a wonderful set of answers using nothing more than carbon, cellulose and brain juice. Therefore, I was able to avoid the anally-administered sodomy provided by the dreaded Physics exam:

Yeah. Fuck physics.

That being said, NO MORE EXAMS (until June)

I can honestly say that if I do not have an exam or work a specific day, I would wake up and watch some trash on Maury, mocking the ridiculous nature of the people who choose to expose their troubled lives for the world to see (and laugh at). I know, its cruel, but how can you not laugh at a white woman who thinks another white man is the father of her half-black child? There's also those special episodes which I lovingly call "Guess Who's the Tranny." Those episodes are always fun, though some of them are pretty easy to spot:

...and then there are those episodes about "Out of Control Teens!!!"

I thought she was hungry for crabs.

I also spent countless hours completing Battlestar Galactica. It is officially the greatest thing ever made. Ever. And it has Lucy Lawless, whose Kiwi accent is just smokin' - not Cheech and Chong smokin'. Sup Lucy.

Yes, I spent hours watching BSG. I physically felt like Jabba the Hutt right after this marathon, so to say, yet the satisfaction of completing the series made me go one step up from 'Jabba' into 'slob.'

Anyways, I also dropped by my friend's house every now and then, and his family is host to a whole batch of foreign exchange students. Every time I go there, I feel like I'm in the freakin' UN. This time, he had three students: a South Korean who watched sports all the time, a Brazilian who is part Iranian (I know, weird combo huh?), and a... well... I don't know. The last one doesn't speak English (SURPRISE!).

The Brazilian student, whose name is the very-Brazilian "Amir," is the only one I've talked to many times, probably because he has superior language skills than the other two and is clearly much more socially adept. I had actually first met him while I was at work on Christmas Eve, though I did not know him at the time. Then when I got home, he showed up with my friend's family who we had invited over for ritual-time / a party.

Suffice it to say, I was surprised. He too, was also surprised to see that I had some understanding about Brazil. He was like a a little child on Christmas.

Wait a minute...

Anyways, I was pleased to have a nice discussion with him that day, and the other days I went to my buddy's house. I actually felt that this trivial knowledge had come to use for a mere 26 minutes! I had felt very successful - proud, almost:

So yeah, that's pretty much what I was up to during my break. Typical. Makes me seem more like a lazy fuck than I already am! :)

Sorry about the randomness of the post today. This is me with too much sleep. And if you couldn't infer from that, I can work off of little sleep, like Elmo. I'll make sure to put some common sense in the next one, by that time, I'll be back to my regular routine of sleeping late, waking up early, bitching about transit, and insulting the most vulnerable aspects of society. *wink wink nudge nudge pompadours*

And before I leave you all tonight (or today, wherever the hell you are reading this from. Except Egypt. There's no interwebz in Egypt thanks to Egyptian Stalin and his dyed hair), I'll leave you all with a final thought:

"If someone calls you short, headbutt them in the crotch."

Smile!

So its been ages - eons, almost - that I've written a blog post, so I apologize for the wait! Please excuse the disorganized nature of this post - I'm rusty!

It's the last day of 2010 and what a year it has been! I think that it is safe to say that it has been the most exciting and enjoyable year of my life (so far, as long as I don't get nuked by an invading robot species)! Obviously, there are ups and downs, but everything is just a part of the experience!

When I look back on the year, I just smile!

For 2011, I've given myself a few resolutions! Why don't we pull a Dr. Phil and analyze each one?!

"Doctur Fill's Rez-uh-loo-shun Remedees"

Resolution #1: Stop swearing (or, at least, swear less), which sort of means that I should complain less. Right? In my world, neither can exist without the other. What a fucked up world I live in...

Those of you who know me understand that there are times when I turn into a brain-demented slimeball who swears like a pirate, or an angry Italian with road rage. I can imagine that neither of those scenarios are beneficial to myself or to all the creatures around me. Humans put on their invisible earplugs in order to drown out my incessant rambling and animals run away from me as if I was a dangerous hunter, seeking to wrap myself in their hides.

Unfortunately, not all animals are able to escape from my hunting skills:

She needs a life insurance policy. Thanks L. Mo!

Resolution #2: Be a little more straight-forward in how I speak. Life is like a country road: driving straight is the best course. Wait, not really... On second thought, that would be bad. You could crash or something. Well, I'm Asian, so my driving skills would probably make me crash a car at some point in my life. That was a terrible analogy.

Another problem of mine is that I can be very "political" in how I respond to other people. In other words, I take as long as I can to get the answer to any question. For example, someone might ask me, "What is 2 + 2 equal to?" Being a retarded fool, I'd say, "Well, it depends what you mean by 'two.' Are we speaking of the numerical two or are we referring to a non-numerical two, such as too and to. Whatever the case, use a freakin' calculator, genius!"


I could have just said "four," but I'm simply weird. If you cannot understand what the hell I'm talking about, we'll use this blue elephant for example. To you, it might be a blue elephant. To me... well, it's still a blue elephant, but it would take me ten minutes to get there.

So the next time I see a blue elephant, rather than ransacking my mind for memories that make me look like an acid-spitting child-eating monster...

... I'll just say, "Hey! It's a blue elephant!"


Resolution #3: Give back. Instead of harvesting brains or capturing souls, I will start giving back to whoever I can: the community, the school, and those who are close to me! For some, though, it might already be too late...

Yeah, I'd like to be a little more participatory (what kind of freakin' word is that?) everywhere I go, especially in terms of volunteering, supporting and just giving back to everyone and everything. I was planning on making this an Easter promise or whatever, but I decided that I should just do it now! Besides, Easter is for eating those delicious chocolate bunnies:

As I wrap up this post, there's a few people (or creatures) that I would like to thank for this awesome year:

• To the Great Burger, for being my mentor and master!
• To my Team of Misfits, for being so damn good!
• To my Super-Duper Department of Demented Dudes and Dudettes, for making everyday an exciting and enjoyable one, especially through those long-ass rehearsals!
• To the Bird Lady, the Muppets and the Bright One, for giving me great advice and support when I finally hit rock bottom.
• To the Home Team, for simply being there!
• To the Siblings-Who-Aren't-Really-Siblings, for making me smile, even though neither of you probably never realized it!
• To the Readers of this blog,  for putting up with my idiotic antics and listening to me complain about the stupidest things.

Happy New Year!

Brain Fart

So I apologize for the lack of posts lately. I've been a busy bee as of late! I'll try to get back on track, especially as more and more things happen!

Anyways, this past week was one hell of a roller coaster ride; lots of stress, but lots of successes as well!

The improv club had our first show this week, and boy was it sick! The few days of practices leading up to it were hectic and stressful, and planning the damn thing was just as bad, but it paid off!

For much of this entire week, I had no brain whatsoever.

Before the show on Thursday, I was a wreck - a wreck that was magnified exponentially each and every day that led to the show. It was clear to those that knew me at school that my anxiety was out of control. I was totally off during rehearsal, my attention in class would drift, and I would sometimes transform into a giant ape under a full moon and reap destruction across the land.

Indeed, I was not myself:

Weird thing is, I was stressing over the fact that we have a fairly small improv team - not as numerous as last year's, or the year before. That was dumb of me, because I realized after the show that this team was all I needed for a very successful show, and everyone could participate even more! I only created that anxiety for myself, something I did not need to do - let alone have a reason for it. I like our numbers, but any new additions are welcome! Everyone really stepped up and they made the show a success! From submarines to "Rosebud" and Mr. Muscles, everything worked out absolutely stupendously! I could not be any happier! I'd need a couch to express my joy and excitement!

The rehearsals for The Scottish Play were the same! My anxiety came out during the rehearsals, and I did worse and worse as we went on. Haha, it's even worse when my anxiety gets called out, because I would have to explain it so people don't worry about me - yet they still do! Why do humans have souls?!!

So yeah, I pretty much crashed and burned during three of my four rehearsals. Honestly, I spent four hours trying to memorize a page and a half of lines and I could not do it! It clearly showed during rehearsal when I asked for a line - every line - during that scene. I felt like a planet would be destroyed every time I messed up or asked for a line.

Once the show was done, however, it took me all of fifteen minutes to do just that. Fifteen minutes.

Fuck you, anxiety! (And Grand Moff Tarkin; I had a summer home on Alderaan)

During the last rehearsal of the week, all my stress was mostly gone and I strongly believe that I destroyed during this rehearsal. I'm not being a braggart or anything, but I felt that it was my most successful one yet. I was lucky enough to do a lot of screaming, so it was a very cathartic experience.

Yelling is very cathartic - just ask Blueboy. You should all do it sometime! It's like crack, not that I know the sensation of such a thing...

And all my worry and stress was all gone by Saturday, when I knew that Best Friend was doing alright as well! This was even clearer when we got back to our routine of highly unusual conversations. (Best Friend teaching me about the significance of conditioner, the types of screamo, the ridiculousness of pompadours on certain beings whom we neither cannot tolerate, etc, etc.)

Everything turned out well, and I'm happy!

Oh, and I also tasted some of Cole's grandmother's maple fudge (And God knows how much I love maple fudge). I tried it, and I exploded from the sheer euphoria of the flavours. It was simply the best maple fudge I've ever had. Ever.

Paula Deen ain't got nothing on this shit, y'all.