Fork in the Road

Hmmm... I'm in a bit of a rut.

For the past few years, I've been parading around the idea that I would like to become some kind of doctor in the future - an oncologist, to be exact. In fact, most of my efforts as of late have been pointing in that direction. I've taken a full science workload for my senior year. I tried going for a medical research internship at a local hospital (which I didn't get! Darn!). I've even began 'indulging' myself with medical information that anyone would consider useless for a seventeen year old. That's how hard I believed in that dream. But now, I find that dream is fading in place of a new one...

Theatre 

Quite a jump from medicine, I must say!

My fascination with theatre comes from one of the few times that I believe that fate may have intervened. You see, when I had started grade 10, I needed an extra class to fit my schedule. Sports Med was placed there, by default, and I had absolutely no intention of doing that. So I went to our councilor to have my schedule shifted. He told me that there weren't many classes yet (as a grade 10 student, we were last to be seen by them), and that only a flurry of optional classes were left. He went through the list: sports med, law, computer tech, cosmetology, wood shop, home economics and some other scattered subjects. However, he did point out drama class as an option.

Before this, I took drama once in junior high. Let me tell you if you have never experienced it: junior high drama is a bit of a joke - literally. It was mainly a combination of common games and 'artistic' projects that do not really delve into the heart and soul of theatre. So, to say the least, I was disappointed with my past experience and choosing drama class at this state would seem to be counter-intuitive, I thought. For some reason, however, I thought, "What the hell. I'll just do it. Won't be too difficult." That - and the fact that the councilor sort of insisted on me joining the drama curriculum to make new friends (I was a new student from another school and I knew no one in the school). I said yes, of course. That tends to be a weakness of mine - saying 'yes' to everything and everyone. I'm a slave to acceptance, I guess.

He was right. He was damn right! Within days of beginning class, I could count my friends with two hands - haha, I know, not a lot, but it was fine enough for me at the time! - and within a few weeks, I was practically at a social level with everyone there! I've come to think that this came to be because the environment in the class was radically different from any other. I mean, everyone is way more relaxed and open in it. The Cool Guy/Hot Girl ideology did not exist here! I really noticed this when monologues had to be presented in front of the class. Normally, I'm not too comfortable presenting myself in front of what I perceive as a judgemental and narrow-minded age group, but I did not have that sensation with these people. I was confident in my work. I was energetic. I was ready. I was practically on top of the world, and that made for a better performance that day.

Even then, the class itself was nothing compared to a full production. The excitement of a play was simply... euphoric, to say the least! According to our drama teacher, the completion of a play was like "giving birth: you are practically preparing ahead of time, eventually encountering a lot of pain and tiredness, but producing a wonderful thing." I do not know what its like to give birth. I don't imagine many men do, either. Nevertheless, I understood what she was talking about, as the process was one of the few actual "emotional roller coasters" in a generic high school lifestyle.

At the beginning we're all ridiculously excited and practically talk about the play whenever we have the opportunity to do so.

As we progress through it, things slow down and the following probably occur:

• someone quits (Lesson: Save us the trouble of finding a replacement; we're not going to beg you to stay!)
• some people lose interest and refuse to rehearse lines until the last minute (Lesson: You want a part, work for it!)
• someone gets overly emotional about the stresses in their lives, blaming it on school or work or some other institution (Lesson: High school's a buffet - don't eat up more than you can fit on your plate!)
• someone gets power hungry and turns into a thespi-devil hybrid (Lesson: There's no "I" in "cast", but there is a "U" in "douche!")
• someone surprises you and the rest of the cast and crew by performing like there was no tomorrow (Lesson: Never underestimate any actor - find out their strengths and play to it!)

All of that "drama inner-drama" practically culminates into the show itself -  a finished piece for everyone to experience. Now, the whole deal is just awesome! I made many more friends through this experience this year, as I was a part of two high school productions. That alone would be enough for anyone to keep going.

With such a long break from that as of late, I've been really wanting to experience this again. I overlooked its importance and significance in my life, and it could be a calling.

Do I want to hop on the rollercoaster for that rush once again? Yes.

Do I want to stay on the rollercoaster?
Time will tell.


It was all a high...


.... and I loved it.