A Curious Showcase

So I'm such a terrible liar about my posts. I did say I had a ton of stories to tell - in that they would turn into a various amount of posts - but they ended up being thrown on the back burner because my time management skills for this blog can be as bad as FDR's legs.

Anyways, it has been a wicked long time since I have posted here, and it makes me feel like a pile of poop to think about that.

I admit, I've been very busy since my last spiel; my life outside of school is practically non-existant. But now that my first semester is over, I have some free time to work on this nifty little blog.

The amount of work that I have had to focus on within the past few months has been astonishing. I've had projects, big scenes, performances, essays and a Showcase to contend with - among other things, for certain!

So firstly, I was involved in a few performances lately. There's these things called "Directing Scenes" that the second year students do, and they basically put up performances from what they learned in directing class - complete with auditions, rehearsals, performance space, etc. I had done one a while back with a scene from "Death and the Maiden" as a sadistic doctor who got caught by the woman he raped years ago. I was tied up, tortured, had water dumped on me, etc. I felt like I was in a play about CIA waterboarding starring David Carradine.

Lately, I've had to contend with two other performances of that fashion - but longer in length. The first one, Ethan Coen's "Waiting," was a 20-minute one act that focused on the existence of a loser of a man stuck in purgatory as his time spent there continues to increase. I found it to be ironic that my friend played that particular man as he is an atheist IIRC.

"Atheists go to atheist hell" - Rick Perry

Anyways, that was a fun one to perform, that's for certain! But, I admit, it won't be able to top my experience with the other performance: Oberon in "A Midsummer Night's Dream," complete with quarterstaff combat! Firstly, it's Shakespeare, and I am pretty darn fond of that bard. Secondly, it had quarterstaff combat - something reserved for second year students! We were lucky enough to get tons of experience in that field. Basically, Titania and Oberon take turns beating buckets of butt from one another in our scene - and boy was it fun! Nothing says old world like going all Chris Brown on that lady. And some people know that I bottle shit up, so I need some way of unleashing a relenting cascade of pure emotions upon this fragile land. Beating the shit out of someone is actually mildly therapeutic. That's why little kids like to punch me in the nuts. They simply release their emotions - and they can't really reach any farther than my groin level.

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And then there was Showcase...

Mind you, it was not as bad as that picture implies. In fact, it turned out to be a pretty good experience! Every thing worked out fairly smoothly and I didn't poop my pants from sheer fury. I kept my sanity during the entire process by living on memes, laughing at every possible thing I encountered, and drowning my sorrows with lemon Pledge. I admit, however, that there were some times where I was at my wits end, but it was all a part of the process in building a great show.

Frankly, I was surprised with how well it went! We full houses for each show, and we had to bring in more seating for people. Opening night was ridiculously great, and the response from the audience was electrifying. That totally continued on to the second night.

But on closing, our worst fears were realized: the dead crowd.

I attribute such an atrocity to the fact that the crowd was composed of parents who HAD to go there for their kids or, like in my case, don't understand a single word of what was being said. It's like we were performing our show at a wake.

Nonetheless, the run was great and my first semester of theatre studies ended with a bang - that's for sure.

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Now, my second semester begins, and I look forward to what lies ahead. In just the past two weeks of being back, we've already completed our auditions for a Theatre for Young Audiences show. I've got a poetry collaboration coming up. Auditions for a film this week are coming. Insane, exciting projects have already been assigned. Meisner is making me shit my pants in bricks. Auditions for our year-end show are coming. Lots of things to do - and I don't mind at all! I like the hectic nature of it all. I'm glad to have performed and to have more stage time than I have probably had within the past three years combined!

Come at me, semester two! I'm ready!

...and as long as I don't need to put up with some prima donna diva poop, I think I'm good.

Work and Play

So the combination of education and fun has finally begun for me...

Come at me, broh.

I actually meant to make this post last week, but I've simply been so busy with everything here that I couldn't just sit down and take some time making a meaningful post. BUT, now I have some time to do just that!

I am now in college, taking a program that can only be called amazing!

Honestly, this place has far surpassed all of my expectations.

As many of my peers thoroughly understand, I can be a very judgemental bastard.

Wut?

...and as such, I came to this school with some unusual preconceived ideas of what my classmates would turn out to be. Allow me to illuminate your mind with a select few of these preconceived notions of mine:

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Preconceived Notion #1:


PRETENTIOUSNESS

Since we were all amongst a group of thespians entering the competitive environs of a post-secondary institution, the idea of pretentious and snobby individuals remained foremost in my mind. I figured that there was bound to be one individual who would do nothing but provide a verbal resume of everything they have done. That's not the most admirable thing, in my opinion. I felt that arguments would ensue, such as the one in this example:

Buttface: "I've won thousands of awards for acting, performing in fifty-million plays and musicals."
Me: "Cool beans."
Buttface: "I've also attended workshops done by Merlin, Buddha and Richard Simmons."
Me: "Cool beans."
Buttface: "And I spent the summer backpacking through the Nepalese mountains in order to discover the depth of my artistic capabilities."
Me: "Cool beans."
Buttface: "I am the ultimate creature."
Me: "Cool beans."
Buttface: "I just want to say thank you so much, not only to God but to Jesus."
Me: "Cool beans."
Buttface: "How about you, gentle soul? What have you done to sate your artistry?"
Me: "..."
Buttface: "Nothing? That's perfectly logical for someone like you. Not everyone has the chops to make it in show business. *pretentious laugh*"
Me: "I will end you."
Buttface:

...and all hell would break loose.

But thankfully I was wrong! Everyone here is simply so spectacular, and I've never connected so quickly to a group of people in my lifetime! The first and second years have so far been absolutely amazing, crazy and just plain cool! Tons of my peeps know that I love the company of people, and the individuals here - no matter how loud, boisterous and crude some of them are - make everything superb!

CONCLUSION: I was wrong, and I'm glad for that! In addition, during the week that I worked on this post, "pretentious" has turned into some sort of go-to word for many an individual in my class. Now, it is the most annoying term that we speak of. I apologize! This is indeed a strange universe.

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Preconceived Notion #2:


HOMEWORK

Before walking into the halls of this school, I had come to the sad, sad conclusion that much of my college life would be comprised of ridiculous amounts of essays and research assignments. I told myself, hey, you might as well get used to the hard work and paper work. It's all a part of the journey.

I thought that my days would be filled with ridiculous essays about the importance of Ian McKellen in Shakespearean work, the flaming personality of Oscar Wilde or the answer to the meaning of life. I thought that everyone would look at me, as a theatre student, with utter disdain, criticism and contempt - sending me into a Charlie Sheen-esque meltdown. I thought that I would not be able to keep up with any and all of the work assigned to me.

I thought I would turn into the exact opposite of the stereotypical stigma attached to being an Asian. Oh, how I would disappoint all of the stereotypical individuals out there!

If that was the truth, I would be a very sad puppy.

However, a few days of schooling led to a wondrous revelation:

Homework here is ridiculously awesome!

I was pleased to see that some of my homework's assignments consisted of going to a farmer's market and stalking unusual individuals. Homework also involves writing thank you notes, volunteering, auditioning and reading from a very entertaining textbook. Of course, the usual hodgepodge of typical homework assignments remains, but it does nothing to deter me from the time I am having here!

I admit, the work can often make me feel like a weirdo - but we are all in the business of theatre. We have no shame. No shame at all.

CONCLUSION: Homework here isn't too bad! I don't mind being a crazy person.

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Preconceived Notion #3


NOSTALGIA

Many of you also know that I am horrendously nostalgic. I am bound to be that creepy old man sitting on a bus stop bench, talking to himself about the importance of wheat and how "kids these days" have ruined the notion of bread for him. I'm bound to be the shuffling, gross man who visits empty malls at six in the morning. All because of the fact that I am so nostalgic! It certainly is bound to creep its way into my mentality. If so, I would turn in to a great pile of mush.

Oh how I wished to avoid such a fate!

Gladly, that bitter-sweet sensation has yet to course through my nerves! I have been enjoying every bit of my time here, and nostalgia sure ain't settling in! I've been kept busy with multitudes of interesting projects, auditions and the occasional night out with some of my friends. A testament to this busy lifestyle is this blog post right here. I meant for it to go out a week or two ago, but I never got around to finishing it until now! But I don't mind! That time was well spent!

CONCLUSION: Nostalgic? Nope.avi

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I guess those are just three of my failed misconceptions. As many of you know, my seer-skills are as great as the hide-and-seek skills of Stevie Wonder in a dark forest.

Eh. I'm shameless.

Anyways, I don't mind being so wrong in such a case. I've been pleasantly surprised with my college experience, and as far as I can tell, it might be hard to pick out others who are loving it more than I am.

...and this is just the beginning. I've got two years ahead of me!

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PS: As some of you may have noticed, the blog has undergone a bit of a facelift - away from that black and white drab I had going on into what you see now! It looks like a Care Bear murder scene. Anyways, I felt that the place needed a cheerier atmosphere, so here it is! I might add some more new things as time goes on. I also have a ton of stories to share, and they might all make it as posts this week! Stay tuned!

Downtown Corners, Rural Crossroads

Celebratory Double Unicorn. Wut wut.

So it has been exactly one year since I started this whole blogging thing! We should celebrate with ice cream! A lot of things have happened - and changed - since this all began. I mean, I sure ain't getting younger, that's for sure!

Staying "hip" - without a replacement

Yup, I admit, there were times that I didn't record some pretty key events in this digital journal of mine - reasons vary from forgetting or being too busy to write, all the way to hiding in a wardrobe and fighting the White Witch. Yet, tons of things still happened that changed me and morphed me into the bunny-loving, Elmo-talking freak that I am. The last year has been full of plays, performances, new people, old friends, fun times, tragedies, bunnies, food, money (or lack thereof), fountain pens, video game raging, fish filleting, shawarmas, music discovery, fighting buttfaces, whale surfing and all that fun stuff! I've had many weird adventures in that time span. But that was the last 365.25 days! Now, there's a lot of things to look forward to (until 2012, when we are all to be conquered by super-intelligent mega dolphins)!

WILLEH!!!

First off, school starts again in just a few weeks. I'm going ahead and I'm taking theatre, and its at a place away from home. Of course, my parents (like many others) aren't too keen on me leaving home, especially my mother, who tends to make her pouting fairly obvious. It's only an hour and a half away (same time it would take me to ride public transit to the university here) from my home, but apparently, that amount of time and distance is truly an unbearable amount for my dear ol' mother.

Duckface

No problem! I'll find some kind of wild bird of prey out in the wilderness, fuse with it, and fly all the way home. No? Touché, that seems to be an unrealistic concept. There are far more primitive and effective ways of making the trip back home, if I need to:

She steals your DVD's when you aren't home.

But hey! It's a good chance for me to get away from the big city and enjoy a place that isn't so busy and hectic! Actually, I'm quite attuned to life in places away from the hustle and bustle of the big city. I mean, I did live for a bit in some rural areas in another country, along with thirteen dogs, some goats and a bunch of chickens. I was freakin' country.

With my free time and my new adventures, I hope to write fairly often once again! I got a new laptop, too, so I can work more effectively now! The factor of portability is a tremendous asset!

Dis iz teh 21st C3ntury, nurds!

On a side note, my last day at work will be tomorrow. Of course, someone probably called in sick and people there needed some help for tomorrows shift, so I let them extend my originally-5-hour final shift to a full on 8-hour war with angry and impatient Friday retail shoppers. Just my luck. More buttfaces.

Of course, my short amount of time working in retail has been enough to expose me to the greatest techniques in handling the multitudes of whiny moms and herpaderp-ing teenagers that flock to my store. This was not the case when I first started. Initially, I had one fool-proof plan to deal with these meddlesome creatures:

Huzzah!

Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to carry my sword into the store - let alone in public - so that option is scrapped. I had to think of another plan! So I thought to myself, "Self, what do these people really hate?" and after a few hours of pondering beneath the moonlight, I discovered the solution! I had to entail the use of my fellow partners from the animal kingdom! Only a species so revolting and perpetually annoying can keep these customers away from me - all while having the ability to encroach amongst the infinite depths of the clearance section of the store.

nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan

That's right: CATS. (Felis catus for you Discovery Channel buttfaces.)

Author's Note: You, person reading this! If you didn't know, I don't like cats. I really really really really REALLY dislike them. There is a sane reason why I owned thirteen dogs and half a farm's worth of livestock - because I hated cats. They're annoying, lazy, impatient and weird! Not to mention, they also ruin furniture and they can't pay for the damages because they don't have kitty-pockets to put away their kitty-wallets holding their kitty-credit cards.


Also, I hate cats. They are buttfaces.


And I'm using this font colour to contrast the gross amount of animosity I have towards cats.


Oh, but I do like this font colour! Fuchsia, I think? That's actually very pleasant... It reminds me of flowery fields and play-doh. Oh, and donuts! Can't forget that!


These evil kitties can hide away in the clothes, waiting for an unsuspecting person to try them on, only to feel the wrath of sharpened kitty claws once they put on that lovely sweater or those weird looking jeans. But apparently, there are some laws against that (ugh) and that plan won't go through either. In the words of Jack Bauer:

DAMMIT!

Well, I guess I'll just tack on a fake smile on my face and tell everyone that their jeans don't make their ass look big (when really, it does. Get a dress instead). Smile and nod, Glenndl. Smile and nod.

Tumms upp

Oh, but that was a bit of a distraction. Where was I?
Oh, yeah! The future or something like that!

I have to admit, I was actually not too prepared for what was laid in front of me. I had a lot of thinking and pondering (under moonlight) to do. And so, once I had time to do that, my sight became clearer. Moonlight does good for the retina, as well as your view into the future. Herpderp.

Once the school year begins, I'll be taking that theatre class that I've been eyeing. Small class, all theatre - just what I wanted (also ice cream). I've had countless people tell me opposite views about my choice, but in the end, I realized that my opinion about it was going to end up being the most important one. So, here I am, ready to have fun and work hard, make new friends and hunt prairie dogs!

So you'll have people who weigh you down, and it'll take some time to occur to you what you've given up to them. And now, you just got to fix it! Do something for yourself for once! Ride a horse, go hunting, look for treasure, take a trip, drink some cat's poo coffee - anything!

Hopefully, when I get there, I don't encounter any buttfaces. That won't be fun at all! I don't like buttfaces. :(
But even if they are a buttface, I'll still try to get to know them! I mean, I've had some friends who turned out to be major buttfaces (lower-case 'm' in major, to distinguish from the legendary Galactic Military Commander Major Arturius Q. Buttfaces), and some buttfaces who ended up being some of my good friends. You never know what can happen with those buttfaces!

It's just a fat baby, you pervs.

Anyways, it has all been a long time coming, with a lot of blood, sweat and tears going in to it... but I'm finally doing what I want to do! "Reaching for the stars," they call it. I mean, you are a "gift to the world" and you've got to make sure that the gift is one helluva good one! That's something I realized just now, and so I will work to make myself into a deftly crafted gift - almost as if I was wrapped up by Martha Stewart!

Yet, we're not completely there yet! Now, it's time for the waiting game, but I'll make sure to take note of it all! It's been a long year of hard work, and the next journey is just beginning!

For now, I'll just sit back, relax, and enjoy my ice cream!

Memories

On July 2, 2011, one of my oldest and best friends back from elementary school, Scott Behrman, passed away.

Hey Scott - Chief - we've only got memories left.

I found out about his death on my way back from a getaway in the mountains and I didn't know what to make of it. Shock and disbelief were the first things that came to mind, of course, but I chose to keep all my reactions inside. They're really starting to pour out now.

A lot of my personality came from him, for sure. Scott was an incredibly funny and caring person and the years of elementary school we spent together will be unforgettable, especially our last year. Whenever I thought about that last year, I always though of the good times with Scott. He was my best friend. During my time with him, Scott was one of the first people I could say that I actually trusted. He was a dynamo, but he was someone who would never let a peep out about you if you didn't want anyone to find out.

I'm thankful that you trusted me enough to share some of the funniest secrets you have. I remember telling you one time about that "dream" that someone had about you, and I almost cried from laughter because you looked so disgusted! Of course, in classic Scott Behrman fashion, you decide to confront that person about the dream. Then what followed was a crazy day indeed. But maybe not as crazy as the one time we went swimming. You were the first person to get me to go on that slide!

Undoubtedly, his sense of humour rubbed off on me. Every class had its comedic moments, and Scott made sure to point them out. We always sat together until our teachers would split us up because we were making too much of a ruckus! I grew to like his type of humor in life, and I can see why he loved it. The smiles that one can create are the best rewards anyone can get. I learned to take my humorous side and share it with as many people as possible, thanks to him. I'd be a different person if it wasn't for this change. I wouldn't have found so much happiness without sharing the spoils of life with him. Scott showed me the brighter side of life - and it is a side that I've come to embrace even today. I feel that I have a positive outlook towards life, and Scott helped to shape that.

You even lit up the most awkward moments! I had tried to wrestle a pencil away from you, but Mrs. Christie saw us and she told us to hold hands like a couple during recess only (a pretty bad moment for little kids like us). But you just ended up saying, "What's so wrong about holding hands?"

The last time I saw him was at church (when he still had his Bieber hair). I remember what we talked about. We talked about our confirmation many years ago and how he went to the ceremony with a blue tongue from a piece of candy.

Chief, you wanted me to have some candy too, and I did! Then we took a million photos with other people, our blue tongues sticking out! I know I have them somewhere, I've got to look for them...

Then we got to talking about the future, and what we wanted to do next. I remember him telling me to pick something I'd love and enjoy, and just have fun.

Scotty, tons of people have told me that, but when I look back at that conversation, I'm thankful that you said it too. I learned from the best. I'd kill to have one more conversation with you - to see how much you've grown and to show you what a difference you made.

It was a pretty mature conversation for both of us. We were even dressed up and were sitting in a fairly empty hall, just talking. I didn't know that was the last time I'd see him. I'm glad that it is such a happy and fun memory.

That long conversation itself really characterized who he was. Scott knew how to have fun but when it got down to it, he'd be able to show how mature and smart he really was. He had a sense of humor that rubbed off on me that kept a smile plastered on everyone's faces, including his. The only time his smile would go away was when he would be working - his work ethic was uncharacteristically great.

I still remember how hard you'd work. You asked me questions, and I'd answer them. You had a knack of really catching on and working at it. You'd tap that pencil constantly, but it never bugged me, that's for sure. That was your beat, and you lived by it.

But most importantly, Scott was a loving and kind person. He genuinely cared for the people he was with, even when he was at an age where you were focused on video games and first dates. He knew how to make you smile, and he knew how to warm your heart. I know, for sure, that as he got older, that love and attention he gave the people around him grew stronger as well.

He was fun, exciting, charismatic, and just loved life - and the people in his life. That is how I'll remember Scott. I'm so fortunate to have known him.

Undoubtedly, he'll live on in the smiles that he put on people's faces. He'll live on in the laughs that we experience. He'll live on because people were touched by his light. People will live for Scott Behrman, and I choose to be one of those people.

I'll miss you, chief.

Paint Fumes Make You Sick

So yours truly shall be creating his first mural this week!

I've been planning for this for quite some time now (sorta kinda), and now it's actually time to put it together! I admit, I've had countless ideas for this mural, but I think I'm finally coming down to a decision.

I've been tasked by my drama teacher to paint a new mural to go over an old one we have up by the room.

Editor's Note:
The old mural was created by students who were at the "top" of their "game." To be honest with you, what game was this? Go Fish? It's a rather -ahem- unpleasant mural to look at right now. Practically, it is a hodge-podge of random images than are not remotely related to theatre. It looks like a paintball arena.

Anyways, as you can tell, I'm fairly picky about good art. If I don't like it, then I don't like it. If I like it, then I like it. So, with my piece, I've got to make sure that it is something that I will like as well!

Many ideas ran through my head for a while; mainly because it was empty, or maybe because I just didn't know which direction to go with for this one.

My first idea involved cutting up pieces of plywood and making some kind of super-polygon on the wall. This super-polygon would rule all other polygons (especially those squares. What a bunch of crazies) and it would be full of every colour imaginable! If your name was Joseph, you could wear it as your coat!

 

Then I had an idea of making a vector-style mural - a method that uses solid colours. It would be the easiest one to make, considering that I'll be grabbing some of my friends to help me out. The current mural is done like that, and its pretty hard to get a good-looking one without it looking like a number colouring book.

I might use elements of it, but I gotta make sure its not too much!

On second thought, I think I should just make a mural of Barney.

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UPDATE!!!

Oh noes! I have been ill *cough cough*

I had this specific week to work on the mural, but I descended into a debilitating fever that completely reduced my hit points to non-existent values. Because of that, I've had no time to make a final game plan or gather the copious amounts of paint and supplies that I need!

Very.

Instead of spending some time to design the best mural I could imagine, I spent my days wrapping myself up in blankets, sleeping, waking up to extreme heat, removing the said blankets and sleeping once again. I must admit, though, my body had more temperature fluctuations than Calgary itself.

So basically, I'll have to put this mural on hold for a while (most likely until December!) For now, that hallway shall suffer the torment of that sub-par mural currently taking its place on a wall by the drama room.

Shed your tears, people, shed your tears.

Places

So this year full of the ups and downs of high school has come to an end...

It's a very bitter-sweet experience for me (a little more bitter for reasons that I can blabber about afterwards). I mean, it's the end of high school (yay) and I should be as happy as a kid in a candy store (and I am) but the end has a lot of implications that go along with it.

One:
I can't make things up anymore.
Yeah, I totally can't! I am now without my precious Improv Team and that countless hours of pure, unadulterated hilarity that would ensue from the most innocent things. Admittedly, I was a part of that steady flow of immaturity in our school. Sometimes I felt like I was back in elementary school - not that there was anything wrong with that!

If you never did this, you are losing out (or you're dumb)

Despite the craziness and the lack of numbers/participants, the team had a very successful year! I think I only realized that a smaller team was perfect later on, because we practically performed like a real team when that was the case! I still (and always will) remember the Bucket Game, the ridiculous rhymes of Kick It, the laugh-fest that were our shows and, of course, our "Christmas Carol" re-enactment! I've never been happier leading a team of crazy carnies who will probably end up in a mental asylum (myself included).

But the best part of Improv was bringing smiles to people's faces. Undoubtedly, our work could brighten up anyone's day, including my improv teammates as well. That, in itself, is such a rewarding experience! Happiness was practically contagious during those days, like the opposite of a cold or E.coli or something.

Laughter is the best medicine, after all!

Improv was a blast. I am incredibly happy to have been a part of it for all three of my high school years, and leading an awesome troupe in the last of them!

Anyways, here's the next result caused by the end of my high school life:
Too much free time!
Yup, I know! Free time is good, but too much of it can seem to be too boring. I mean, all year, I've been busy after school with projects, shows, rehearsals and everything else in between, and a lot of it was pure fun! But now, with summer rolling in, I'll be burned to a crisp by the intense, dry heat. I will continuously chug down oceans of iced tea. My electric fan will be stuck on max power every day and every night. I will have too much time! I will be utterly confuse as how I can engage myself in the hours of weather-torture that comes with summer. What shall I do...

Uguu~

I don't know what I'll do just yet. I might work. I might paint. I might write journal entries. I might look for Gadhafi. Whatever it is, I'll make sure to document it here (it's about time that I get this blog back on its feet!) One thing I will do, though, is spend as much time as I can with my friends this summer before we all head out to our separate ways. We've got to make more memories, because those will last a life time. But we've got to do it fast! Summer will be done before you know it and it'll all be gone like a stick of butter on a hot August day.

Speaking of which, the end of high school brings this as well:

The possibilities of the future.
Yup, I went there. Cheesy stuff, eh? I'm like freakin' fondue:

Anyways, that statement is true. There are so many things ahead of me, I just don't know where to begin! Admittedly, I was like that a few months ago, but 1000x worse! It was a shame: I had more meltdowns than a nuclear power plant (too soon?) Back then, I was a mess. That explains the lack of blog posts, so sorry about that!

Gladly, I got my shit together and I turned around and headed in a better direction, thanks to everyone around me. My tens, elevens and twelves helped me learn to embrace people again.

My tens showed me what it is like to have a greatly positive outlook towards everything and everyone. I learned from them the simplest and most basic lesson of life: think positively.

My elevens showed me growth and all the inspiration that I had back when I was in that place. They made me remember back when new experiences sparked a passion inside of you, and so I chose to pursue that passion.

And my twelves showed me unity and support. We were a unit, and none of us could have gotten that far without one another. That's why it's so hard to leave it all behind, but we've all got to move forward now!

One thing they all have in common is that they are all my friends - they all made a difference in my life.

I know that, despite a great outlook, there will be some moments of darkness in the future. Those moments may seem overwhelming, so you do whatever you can to cope with it. You might cry or you might bottle it all up inside. You might lie in your bed endlessly, or you might eat a bucket of Haagen Dazs endlessly. You might call a friend, or you might simply sit alone.

Whatever you do, I hope you can get out of it like I did. It took a lot to drag me out of the depths of whatever I was in...

...and sometimes, a little bit of light is enough to lift you up and take you to all of the places you are meant to be.

The Natural Order of Things

So the next (and final) semester of school begins in just under a week! I'll give you a recap of what I did during my break!

I finally finished my exams for this semester! My first exam was Religion:

The Religion exam was rather simple and straight-forward (expected, considering the Church is all for "straight"). Unfortunately, "God" was not a choice on most of the multiple choice part of the exam. If it was there, I'm sure that would have been the answer to everything. Allow me to explain:

Who made the world?

Who is at the center of the Church?

Whose skin is used as paper for the Bible?

Who shot JR?

You get the point. Anyways, my next exam was Chemistry:

The most important element.

Chemistry was okay. I must admit, however, that I am a bit of a chemist and as such, I was able to concoct a wonderful set of answers using nothing more than carbon, cellulose and brain juice. Therefore, I was able to avoid the anally-administered sodomy provided by the dreaded Physics exam:

Yeah. Fuck physics.

That being said, NO MORE EXAMS (until June)

I can honestly say that if I do not have an exam or work a specific day, I would wake up and watch some trash on Maury, mocking the ridiculous nature of the people who choose to expose their troubled lives for the world to see (and laugh at). I know, its cruel, but how can you not laugh at a white woman who thinks another white man is the father of her half-black child? There's also those special episodes which I lovingly call "Guess Who's the Tranny." Those episodes are always fun, though some of them are pretty easy to spot:

...and then there are those episodes about "Out of Control Teens!!!"

I thought she was hungry for crabs.

I also spent countless hours completing Battlestar Galactica. It is officially the greatest thing ever made. Ever. And it has Lucy Lawless, whose Kiwi accent is just smokin' - not Cheech and Chong smokin'. Sup Lucy.

Yes, I spent hours watching BSG. I physically felt like Jabba the Hutt right after this marathon, so to say, yet the satisfaction of completing the series made me go one step up from 'Jabba' into 'slob.'

Anyways, I also dropped by my friend's house every now and then, and his family is host to a whole batch of foreign exchange students. Every time I go there, I feel like I'm in the freakin' UN. This time, he had three students: a South Korean who watched sports all the time, a Brazilian who is part Iranian (I know, weird combo huh?), and a... well... I don't know. The last one doesn't speak English (SURPRISE!).

The Brazilian student, whose name is the very-Brazilian "Amir," is the only one I've talked to many times, probably because he has superior language skills than the other two and is clearly much more socially adept. I had actually first met him while I was at work on Christmas Eve, though I did not know him at the time. Then when I got home, he showed up with my friend's family who we had invited over for ritual-time / a party.

Suffice it to say, I was surprised. He too, was also surprised to see that I had some understanding about Brazil. He was like a a little child on Christmas.

Wait a minute...

Anyways, I was pleased to have a nice discussion with him that day, and the other days I went to my buddy's house. I actually felt that this trivial knowledge had come to use for a mere 26 minutes! I had felt very successful - proud, almost:

So yeah, that's pretty much what I was up to during my break. Typical. Makes me seem more like a lazy fuck than I already am! :)

Sorry about the randomness of the post today. This is me with too much sleep. And if you couldn't infer from that, I can work off of little sleep, like Elmo. I'll make sure to put some common sense in the next one, by that time, I'll be back to my regular routine of sleeping late, waking up early, bitching about transit, and insulting the most vulnerable aspects of society. *wink wink nudge nudge pompadours*

And before I leave you all tonight (or today, wherever the hell you are reading this from. Except Egypt. There's no interwebz in Egypt thanks to Egyptian Stalin and his dyed hair), I'll leave you all with a final thought:

"If someone calls you short, headbutt them in the crotch."